A trip, life immitating anime, the Oscars and a revelation

Blogger! Work properly, damnit! *bitchslap*

Blah, I got back from my grandmother's yesterday. Luckily we were only staying the night, or I would have freaked out even more than I did >_<

See, my grandma isn't a nice, little old lady. Yes, she is a little old lady, but she is the most depressing, irritating, racist, whiny, and just downright negative person I know! Basically, if you want an idea of what it's like to spend time with my grandma, just imagine a Dementor dressed up in a KKK robe, and give it the ability to complain, and that's my grandma. Oh, and make it hyper critical of everything.

While at grandma's, I did my usual, and hid down in the basement/rumpus room until I was called for. It worked out fairly well.

Now, the one thing I actually like at my grandma's place is her shower. She has a really bitchin' shower. The only problem with the shower is that spiders like to live in the bathroom where it's located, and they have this habit of trying to rape me. Don't give me that look, I'm serious! On three separate occasions I've had a spider dangerously close to my naughty bits, I've had one on my ass, and one on each boob. Never on my arm, or my hands or feet, just sexually related areas! It's like a bloody tentacle porn, except with spiders instead of tentacles... and no actual sex involved... but the experience is traumatic none the less!

Anyway, I wanted a shower like you wouldn't believe (because grandma likes to employ us as slave labour when we visit, so I ended up having to clean out her filthy garage), so I went into the bathroom, my trusty spider killing golf club in hand, and I started poking around the place to see if anything came out of the woodwork (luckily nothing did, because I was having this horrible vision of this story Ruth told us, about this big ass spider that had been outside of her house, and when her sister had poked it with a broom, it had chased them x_x).

So I get in the shower, and I shower away, and then when I finished and turned off the water, I thought I felt some soap still on my left leg. So I grab the shower head, my hand on the knob to turn the water on, when I look down and see this GIANT FUCKING SPIDER CRAWLING UP MY THIGH.

To say I panicked a bit would be putting it mildly. I ended up screaming obscenities for nearly five minutes, and I dented the shower head when I used it to repeatedly beat the spider into a gooey pulp on the shower floor. Of course my antics freaked out my parents, and my grandmother started saying that I was either insane or mentally challenged and that I should be locked away or sent to a shrink or something else that I didn't bother paying attention to because HELLO? THERE WAS A MUTHERFUCKIN' SPIDER ON MY MUTHERFUCKIN' LEG!!

The rest of the visit was fairly uneventful, thankfully, though I did fail to sleep because grandmother has the most uncomfortable beds I've ever slept in, and she had the heat on all night and I don't fair well in the heat.

... I think my dad just said something about needing some more cock in here?! Maybe I need my hearing checked o_O

What was I going to talk about next? Oh! Yes! The Oscars! I'm something of a cineophile, so I like watching movie related things (though I will admit that the Oscars can get more than a wee bit pretentious sometimes). Unfortunately, most of the movies that have come out in the past few years have been... well... kinda shitty. So mostly I watch the Oscars to see if anything looks like non-crap. Also, I was watching this year because Ennio Morricone was getting a lifetime achievement Oscar, which I was very pleased about, because I've always loved his music. It was so very appropriate that he was given the Oscar by Clint Eastwood, who was played in with that iconic piece from A Fistful of Dollars (which was a Morricone song, and one of my favourites). But then Celine Dion sang that song, and then she did that scary thing with her mouth at the end of it, and it made me cry T^T

Speaking of things that made me cry, Mako died! In freaking June! I had absolutely no idea he died! And Basil Poledouris?! I nearly shat myself when they said he had died too. Bloody hell...
And I wanted Peter O'Toole to get an Oscar. He should have bloody well got it for Lawrence of Arabia x_x

My favourite part of the Oscars? CORGIS!! I swear, they are the cutest dogs ever, and I'm not even a dog person (meow)!

Hehehe, but I discovered something supremely bad ass. As I said before, I'm a cinophile, so I like movies, the watching and the making of them. I've got a few on my YouTube, nothing fancy, but very weird. Anyway, most of the footage I shot was either download via FireWire from my camcorder, or off of the SD chip from my little camera. And since most computers don't have a FireWire port, we had to get one. And for some inexplicable reason, I failed to notice that the FireWire port we bought also had standard audio/video plug-ins! You know, those red, white and yellow tipped cables that plug into the TV. Hahaha! Tape, DVD, video games! Anything with an a/v plug-in thing, and I can get footage off of them! Muah ha ha ha!

(I don't know where that evil laughter came from)

Hehe, I already download a bunch of Wind Waker cutscenes, though the first thing I recorded off me GameCube was some SSBM footage (I always play as Zelda/Sheik), and soon I shall make MUSIC VIDEOS!! Ooh, and not just Zelda, but Metroid and Eternal Darkness and Resident Evil 4 and Doctor Who and Babylon 5!! Oh sweet technology! Why was I so oblivious to you?

Ooh, I must go find songs with which to set footage to!

Paddles and Hobos and Chocolate, oh my!

Blah, Blogger was being a tard yesterday, and wouldn't let me sign in >.o
But now that it's working, I rejoice!

Anyway, yesterday Chloe, Sable and I went out to the mall, our main objective: to acquire wooden paddles with which we could smack each other around with (because we are strange and the thought of violence amuses us). So we were merrily wandering through the mall, acting juvenile, when Chloe spots Ruth, a friend of her and her sister, working at this jewellery stand. We stop and talk with her, and we pretend to be retards for a bit (er, don't ask), and talk about some of the weird stuff that Chloe's sister Ivy says when she sleep talks.

Ruth had to get back to work, so the three of us went to Michael’s (it's like Wal-Mart, but for art supplies), where we ran around for a half hour with paddles while wearing masks and giggling like maniacs. Seriously, we were downright psychotic. Why they didn't kick us out, I'll never know.

Anyway, we headed back to the mall in order to get food, when we bumped into Ruth again, who had just gotten off from work, and was stuck at the mall till her mom came to pick her up. Now, on this particular day, the mall was absolutely full of parents and their small children. And I don't mean quiet, well-behaved children, oh no. Instead there were no less than at least thirty of these screaming little bastards.

I don't like kids. Well, I don't like people in general, but kids engender this special kind of hate in me. I'm fine with children, if they're well behaved, but parents these days seem to just let their spawn run wild. No manners, no discipline, just squalling, oozing bags of snot and poop and humanity, and they disgust me. If there's anything wrong in this world, it's that people don't train their children anymore. But I'm digressing, so back to the story...

So, the mall was full of screaming, ill behaved children, and it was very vexing. There we were, trying to eat, and on all sides of us we were surrounded by the little shits. Like me, it turned out that none of my three companions like children either (point in fact, when Chloe and I were sitting on a bench outside of a photo shop, waiting for Sable to pick up her pictures, this couple and their little kid walk past us. As the three go past, the little kid sort of screams "HI!" at us, and then, making a sort of clawing gesture and snarling, Chloe replies, in a sing-song voice, "Die!").

We were talking about all the horrible things we had seen children doing, and then we started coming up with ways of how to get rid of all the little bastards. Chloe wanted to have them put down like rabid animals, while Sable wanted to punt them into the ocean, and whoever got back to land would get to live. I was on similar lines, but I wanted to drop them into a forest so that they could be eaten by all the hungry animals, but Chloe was against that because she didn't want the animals to get diseased by eating the disgusting offspring of humans (as she likes animals better than people). That's when Ruth comes up with the idea of feeding the children to hobos.

And that is the perfect solution! With one swoop we could feed the needy and get rid of all the little shits! We then decided that we could keep all the hobos on an island (Hobo Island, what else), and any ill-behaving children would be sent there. The children themselves would provide all the nourishment that the hobos would need, and they could make their homes and clothing out of the bones and skin of their food. I won't go into it all, because most of it was actually pretty gross, and the rest I forget because we were laughing so damn hard that I think I momentarily passed out at one point due to lack of oxygen. And the best part about it was all the dirty looks the parents of those squalling little bastards were giving us.

"Yeah, that's right!" we were all but saying, "We're directly attacking your parenting skills! No, your child is not a precocious little scamp! It's a wretched, screaming terror that you didn't train properly, and it's going to become a whore/thief/murderer/rapist/politician when it grows up, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!!"

It was equally gratifying when they all got up and left in an undeservedly righteous huff, because they took their little bastards with them. And the silence that followed was even sweeter.

We spent the remainder of out time wandering around and looking at pretty things (like jewellery and swords), laughingly remarking to ourselves, whenever a child would pass, "Look out little Billy, or the hobo will eat you!" and generally behaving as most normal twenty something’s wouldn't. And that rocked.

It was close to the time when Ruth's mom was arriving when Sable asked to go to Wal-Mart. She had a just about used up gift card from christmas, and she wanted some sweet, sweet easter chocolate. And who were we, all of us female, to deny he this indulgence? So off we went with the intent of purchasing some chocolaty goodness.

As I said, it's close to easter, so there was more than enough chocolate to go around. Chloe and I got some big ass bags of easter eggs, while Sable got a box of Pot of Gold. Ruth was going to pick up a couple bags of Hershey Kisses, but she wanted to see how much they were, so she ran one under one of those scanner things that seem to be popping up in stores more and more lately. Anyway, instead of the 68 cents they were advertised at, it turned out the chocolate was actually 10 cents a bag. So Ruth decided to buy all of them. And she did too. Every bag of Kisses that were in that store, she bought, and that ended up being about ten pounds of candy for about five bucks! And, of course, this made the lot of us very giggly (not that we weren't anyway), especially when Ruth started stopping random people to tell them that she had bought ten pounds of chocolate XD

So, yes, that was my eventful Wednesday. Aside from learning that omg George Takei totally wins at everything, today was relatively quiet X3

Bad Wolf and the Lonely God

CBC wasn't an asshole. Unlike what they did with The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, they showed Doomsday the week after they showed Army of Ghosts, instead of waiting a fraking month!

So it is that February 19 is my Emo Rose Day T^T

Comparing Legends

Sometimes, when I’m bored, I like to pick a couple fandoms and try to imagine how they would fit together. Sometimes they work out, and sometimes they don’t, but all in all it’s an amusing distraction.There are times, however, where I find weird similarities between fandoms that aren’t readily apparent, unless you look for them. Such is the case between the Legend of Zelda and Sailor Moon.I know it may sound a little weird, but let me shoot out a little summary for you:

In both series’, the Hero (Link, Tuxedo Mask) initially start off searching for a Mysterious Object (the Triforce, the Ginzuishou) with which to give to the Princess (Zelda, Sailor Moon). The Princess and her Followers (Sages/Maidens, Sailor Senshi) are beset by the Villain (Agahnim/Ganondorf/Majora/Vaati/Zant, Queen Beryl/Prince Dimande/Pharaoh 90/Queen Nehellenia/Sailor Galaxia), who may or may not be the minion of an even greater evil (Ganon, Chaos). The Villain is, more often than not, after either world domination or destruction, and the Hero, Princess and Followers are the only ones who can stop this from happening.While the Hero is more of a physical fighter, the Princess and her Followers are able to use some kind of mystic power (magic, Sailor Crystals). The Princess is often helped by a Guide (Impa, Luna), while the Hero mostly goes it alone. The Hero is brave beyond compare, and willingly throws himself into the fight against the Villain, while the Princess, with her kind heart, fights for the sake of her people.When the final battle comes, the situation seems completely hopeless, and the Villain has all but won. But in a last ditch effort, the Hero, Princess and her Followers unite together and together they are able to stop the Villain and restore peace.

And that’s just a general, overall comparison. There are other, little similarities hidden around all over each.

For instance, both Zelda and Tuxedo Mask took on an Arabic alter ego (Sheik, the Moonlight Knight [who happened to look like a sheik]). Link and Tuxedo Mask are both orphaned at a young age. Wisdom is associated with water and the colour blue (Naryu, Sailor Mercury), Courage is associated with air (and the woods, by proxy) and the colour green (Farore, Sailor Jupiter), while Power is associated by fire and the colour red (Din, Sailor Mars). An incredibly powerful sword (the Master Sword, the Holy Blade) falls into the hands of the good guys, and it usually has to be restored to its full power by some means, and it is used to deliver the killing blow to the Villain. The Guide often fluctuates in age (Impa as an old lady in most games, while much younger in OoT, and Luna dubbed as an old lady in the American dub, while much younger in the original Japanese). Both feature a mystical kingdom (Hyrule, the Silver Millennium), which is, along with the Mysterious Object, what the Villain is after. The Villain also always seems that power will win the day, but the good guys prevail by combining powers and/or abilities. There is also an insufferably cute child who favours one colour over others (Saria and her green, Chibiusa and her pink). Woodwinds, harps and violins are prevalent instruments (Zelda and Link use an ocarina while Ali uses a flute. Sheik, Medli/Laruto and Sailor Mercury play harps of some sort. Markar/Fado and Sailor Neptune use violins). And both Zelda and Sailor Moon have blonde hair, blue eyes, a fair complexion, and more power and determination than what the Villain initially expects.

So, as you can see, these two fandoms have a fair bit in common. And, while I don’t actually see a Zelda/Sailor Moon crossover being written, finding those similarities was kinda fun :P

Maybe I should have stuck with ink...

Okay, I now know how much of a nerd I am, and it's all thanks to Teen Titans!
It started out as a fairly normal day for me, a bit of writing, working with some HTML and JavaScript (because non-nerd people totally do that on a daily basis. Seriousley), and then stop for a bit to have some lunch. I was going to eat it downstairs if there was anything good on TV, but since it was nothing but soap operas and Jerry Springer, I figured I'd be better finding something I liked on YouTube.
So there I sat, typing in random things, eating my tuna melt (and fending of my cat, who was going psycho trying to get at my tuna), when I stumbled across the Teen Titans movie. What the hell, I figure, it's better than daytime TV anyway.
The plot of the movie is that the Titans have to go to Japan to find out why this villian called Brushogun was attacking their home (I'd like to point out that when I first heard the villians name, I thought he was an ad for denstry x_x)
Anyway, this nameless dude who Brushogun sent to attack the Titans Tower was kinda cool looking, in what I originally thought to be half red, half blue. But then as I watched him attack some stuff, I realized it was more cyan than blue, and that red was leaning dangeriousley close to pink.
The movie goes on a bit more, and the Titans are attacked by this shadow thing, and some yellow floaty robot types. And there I was, thinking to myself, "Heh, cyan, yellow, black, and what I assume to be magenta. Maybe this Brushogun guy is like a CMYK printer?"
And I know about CMYK printers, because I'm the one who has to change the toner when the big ass one at work runs out.
So the show goes on some more, then we get to this part where we see Brushogun making his minions, by wiping his fingers across a piece of paper and leaving trails of cyan, magenta, yellow and black!!
And the pathetic part wasn't that I guessed the CMYK thing before we even got to that part, but my first thought on seeing that was, "I wonder what he uses for toner?"
Clear evidence that the ink fumes and paper dust have finally gotten to me >_<
That, and I seriously need a vacation @_@

Name Change and Churches

I started out by calling this blog Ink and Swords, and this is because I adore swords more than most, and ink is all but literally in my blood. Writing, for me, is practically hereditary.
But I changed it to what it is now, because I've always wanted to call something that.
See, on my route to work, there is this little church called Our Lady of Good Counsel. Being that organized religions kinda wig me out, I've never actually gone into the place, but the name always stuck with me. I've had a past fancy of sneaking up to the church in the middle of the night and sticking a sticker that said bad over the good, because I would find it hysterical.
Maybe I'm twisted, but I don't care! Funny is funny, and seeing the reactions of the people that frequent that church would be reward enough.
Of course, I've also wanted to go into a church and act possessed, but the jury is still out in regards to my sanity.
On a side note, my eyeballs feel sticky and I wish to pluck them out and rinse them under cold water. I don't know why, but they always feel sticky when I get no sleep x_x

May the rats eat your eyes, Aurora McAwesome!

I finally got some sleep, so yay! But, it was during sleep that an idea for some stories came to me. Probably due to the fact that I have recently seen pretty much everything to do with Sailor Moon (except for the musicals, and dude, I want to see those so bad because I'm insane for musicals), I ended up having a fair few Sailor Moon dreams. In the first one I had, a couple weeks ago, I was a cop with Haruka (Sailor Uranus), and we were driving around this nameless city. But we weren't just normal cops, oh no, we were cheesy 70's movie cops, right down to the tacky outfits and the disco soundtrack. Yes, my dreams have soundtracks. Anyway, all I can remember from it was that we were cruising around town at excessive speeds, and we all but held up a Tim Hortons at one point. It was kinda nutty, to say the least.
The next Sailor Moon dream I had was just as messed up, but I actually want to turn it into a fic. I was apparently going to the same school as Usagi, Ami, Makoto and Minako (which looked suspiciously like my high school), and was in their class. Anyway, it was the beginning of the day, and the teacher (who was actually my grade 5 teacher, in real life) was introducing a new girl. She had this really big ass name, and I can't remember it all, but I remember the chick saying that we could call her Aurora McAwesome. She was actually Paris Hilton, I believe, and she was looking at Usagi like she was going to jump her or something, and I remember thinking in the dream, "Oh shit! I'm in a Mary Sue fic!"
So, from that crack!idea, I want to write a fic about Aurora McAwesome (that name kills me), the quintessential Mary Sue, showing up and trying to get in with the Senshi like they're old pals, and how the girls would realistically react to such a thing. And I am totally making her Sailor Earth, because what's a SM Mary Sue without her being a Senshi too?
Anyway, my next dream-based fic is sort of a smash up of one of my favourite video games with one of my favourite shows: a crossover with Eternal Darkness and Sailor Moon! I know, it's kinda crack!fic-ish too, but I want to write this one as a serious story. The dream I got this idea from was just a short one... or it could have been a terribly long one, but I only remember part of it. Anyway, in the part I remember, I was Sailor Mercury for some reason, and I was wandering around the ruins of Ehn'gha, when this Chattur'gha Horror comes stomping towards me. So I cast the Enchant Item spell on my sword (which was Dark Mercury's sword from PGSM), and then I started hacking away at the Horror till it was dead. And then I laughed like a psycho, but that's just me.
I've only sort of got a rough idea about where I want to go with that fic, but it should be interesting.
And while we're on the topic of video games, I actually had a few ideas for some Legend of Zelda fanfiction. Well, I actually had these ideas about a month ago, but work has been insane, and so I've hardly had the time to write. But, luckily for me, work has died down to a no-so-insane level, so I am bloody well going to get some writing done, damn it!
And to end with a bit of fangirling: omg, the end of the Kafei/Anju sidequest in Majora's Mask was so friggen' emotional! They're having a secret, hidden marriage just minutes before the moon is going to smash down and snuff out their lives in a fiery fireball of DEATH and they're going to stay together and await the dawn! I swear, if I was a crier like my mom, I would have been bawling during that scene!

Oddness and Insomnia

So... it's 3:25am right now, which means I have been up roughly 27 hours straight. It's kind of a piss off, actually. There I was, lying in bed for most of the night last night, and I just wouldn't fall asleep. I have no idea why. I mean, I was comfortable enough, tired enough, but sleep just never came. I get like that somethings, which is alternately amusing and annoying. And right now we're straying dangerously close to annoying.
Some good came out of it though, because I started playing Majora's Mask for the first time last night, and it rocked. Haha, but I'm an illegal bastard because I downloaded the ROM for it, instead of buying the actually game, but I have not been able to find it anywhere, and if I do find it, well, I'll probably buy it.
On the 8th, however, my friend Sable went to another city for a week so she could house sit for her aunt. I think she said she was coming back some time around the 13th, because she was saying something about going out with Chloe and I to get some art supplies and crap. Anyway, today, out of the blue, she phones me up and asks for my home address, because she apparently wants to send me something. Trouble is, she didn't say what. Chloe's hoping for singing male strippers with chocolate for Valentines, But I've got my hopes up for a sword, because I'm weird like that.
Crap, I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. I just burst out into laughter, and I don't know why. Shit, any minute I'm going to start writing some depressing poetry, I just know it...

Censoring and You!

To be perfectly blunt, I hate censoring. To quote X-Play, I hate it with the intensity of a thousand suns. In my mind, to censor something is to destroy the artistic intent of what the creator of what ever was being censored had in mind.

For example, let's take a movie, say... Die Hard. According to IMDB, Die Hard is rated "R", so basically this movie is a movie for adults, not for children. I saw it on TV a while ago, and most of the swearing and excessive violence was cut out. Now, why was this stuff cut out? "So the impressionable youth won't see it and try to mimic it!" the parents groups will say. And this would be a valid and good reply, were we talking about a movie that was actually target at children!

And so it is that movies about explosions and swearing and violence and turned into fun treats for the whole family. But is that so bad, you ask? If you wanted to watch a movie with lots of swearing and shit getting blown up, then yes, it is bad.

See, cutting things out of movies/TV shows/books is never a good thing. All that stuff is in there for a reason, and all your censoring is, more likely than not, destroying the message the creator was trying to convey.

For example, I turn to something I'm something of an expert in (having just read the manga, watched the anime and movies, as well as the live action series): Sailor Moon. While I'll be using this series as an example, the manner in which it was dubbed can be applied to most other anime, no, any foreign content that is brought to the West to be dubbed.

The most common one is that the names are changed. The youth would have no concept of a world beyond their shores, so no foreign names are allowed! Usagi is now Serena, Makoto is now Lita, and Motoki is now Andrew! (I will admit that dubbers are getting better at leaving names alone, but it's still fairly common).

Next we have to get rid of any of the weird, foreign customs that these people are doing! Flip the image around to it looks like people are driving on the proper side of the road! And no kanji anywhere, because it is foreign and strange! We must cover it up with poorly drawn American things!

Now we take the script and alter it to suit our needs! Cut things out to make room for a stupid little moral thing! Change the characters to be little more than stereotypes! Remove all the original music and sound effects and change them to our brightly coloured bubble-gum tunes! And no more lesbians! They're now cousins (though we'll inexplicable leave in all their subtle flirting)!

I really can't do justice as to how much exactly was cut from each episode of Sailor Moon. You'd be better off going HERE to see just how badly it was butchered. It's just.. bah, I can't even type coherently anymore.

To conclude, censoring destroys the intent of a show/movie/book, and it shits upon the concept of "free speech" that the ones who are doing all the censoring are going on about all the time. So, basically, the world is full of hypocritical bastards and I'm ashamed to be a part of the human race.

Bloggety Blog Blog!

Well, Looks like I gots me a blog now, eh? Though I don't know what kind of accent I was trying to pull off there... Bah, no matter, I'll just plow on ahead!
Plow on ahead to what, well, I don't really know just yet. Hm, ramble ramble ramble...
I think the main purpose of this blog is going to be as a bitchfest. Yes, and angst dump so full of woe that you'll want to slit your wrists the instant you start reading it!
No, probably not. I'm not really an angsty person, and, quite frankly, the whole Emo, "oh-my-life-is-so-miserable-I-want-to-just-DIE-omg thing kinda pisses me off. I mean, yeah, the world sucks, but do you have to go on and on and ON about it? *punts some Emo kids into traffic*
On that note, I think I found out what this blog is going to be about: ranting! That wonderful pastime where go nuts about subjects that annoy you! Ah, such fun, such fond memories. I spent much of my high school years ranting...
Well, I suppose I've blithered on long enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stab Ganondorf in the face again, then perhaps get down to some writing ;)