Porn and Me

I do not get along very well with porn. As with most kids who grew up with the internet, accidentally discovered porn has been the basis for much mental scaring (goatse and meatspin, anyone?). But now that I am more mature* and better able to understand and process pornographic material, I find that porn is not so much scaring as downright ridiculous.

Part of why I find porn so inherently bad, no matter what medium it is presented in, is the fact that it's merely a form of instant gratification. Since most people watch or read porn for the whole sex aspect, they don't want to get bogged down by plots and logic. As such, if you were to take the sex out of porn, the stories would have no redeeming qualities. Well, unless you like reading or watching something bad, if only for the lulz. Which I do, actually, and that has lead to more than one instance where I've started watching what I assumed to be a B-movie, only to find out it's a big ol' porno...

(Actually, my brother and I will sometimes watch this Latin Lover show on the Spanish channel, turn the volume low, and dub in our own dialog for all the soap opera-y stuff that goes on between the sex. We always end up switching it to Star Trek when the people do start getting it on, because it's no fun dubbing without dialog :P )

The other reason why I can't take porn seriously (especially written porn) is the euphemisms. I mean, you can only say "penis," "vagina" and "cock" so many times before things start getting old. But when people truck out their most imaginative and flowery descriptions of genitalia, and what they do, hilarity ensues!

Much the same thing happens when I try to write porn myself; I run out of normal euphemisms and end up coming up with ones that are completely ridiculous ("the rippling pillar of his throbbing man microphone" always makes me laugh). Also, coming up with plots for a porn story is something I find both difficult and irrelevant. After all, since most people only read erotica for the sex, what does the story matter? So most of my porno story plans follow along these lines:

• Okay, gonna write a porno!
• Who's in it, what are they doing and where are they doing it?
• Person A and Person B, they're having sex (duh), and... they're doing it up against a building
• Inside or out?
• Let's be kinky and have it outside
• Okay, so why are A and B having sex outside and up against a building?
• Weeeelllll.... A could be some sort of.... nympho who gets off on doing it in public...?
• And B just happened to be the first person A spotted!
• Okay, but why would B just randomly have public sex with a stranger?
• B was horny? Or maybe B was heartbroken or depressed or something, and sex is B's means of self-therapy?
• I see, but what would make B so depressed/heartbroken that they'd go out of their way to have meaningless sex?
• I don't know, I childhood tragedy? Oh! No, B's true love died in a horrible accident, and the only way B feels alive again is by doing people who resemble the true love!
• What was the true love like, then?
• Well, they'd be... actually, screw the sex, I want to write about B and their true love!
• Also, bad pun, no biscuit!

Thus sidetracking incurs, and the sex is forgotten. But if I do manage to work out some sort of quick plot that leads to sex, as I said before, I end up laughing too hard at euphemisms to write anything.

To date, I've only managed to complete one sex-centric story, and I personally find it kind of dumb because it has no real purpose. Well, other than the obvious. The only reason I wrote it was because it was demanded of me, and threats (even half-hearted, joking ones) are good at getting rid of procrastination :P

So, in conclusion, I can't take porn seriously, but if you can, then good for you XD

*this, of course, is debatable.

Alignment test

Your Score: True Neutral

52% Good, 52% Chaotic

Plane of Existence: The Outlands, "Plane of Concordant Opposition". Description: The plane between all other outer planes.

Examples of True Neutrals (Ethically Neutral, Morally Neutral)

Red XIII, "Nanaki" (FFVII)
Vincent Valentine (FFVII)
Cid Highwind (FFVII)
Mr. Spock
Linus Torvalds
Dr. Strangelove
Scott Evil
Batman
The Punisher
Switzerland
Canada

Not actively for or against anything. Has his or her own reasons for doing everything. Usually difficult to understand.

Will keep their word if in their best interest
May attack an unarmed foe
May use poison
May help those in need
May work with others
Indifferent to higher authority
Indifferent to organizations

True Neutral "Pure Neutral"
"Balancer"

Some neutral [people] commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They are of the true neutral alignment as described in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

A true neutral [person] sees good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. He advocates the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run.

Some true neutral [people] actively support balance in the world, and seek to avoid having any one side, law or chaos, good or evil, become too powerful over them or anyone else, and will work against whichever side is the most powerful. They tend to side with the underdog in any situation, and are often opportunistic in their actions.

True neutral is committed to the avoidance of extremes, and is non-judgemental.
Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):
0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic:Lawful-Evil
0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Evil
0-39% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Evil
40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Neutral
40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Neutral
61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Good
61-100% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Good
61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Good

Link: The Alignment Test written by xan81 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Characters > Romance

Before I start, I just want to point out that, as a girl, I like romance. If a story ends with the two lovers riding off into the sunset (more often than not to make a wave of babies), I am totally down with that. Stories that end with a happily ever after make me a happy girl.

Despite that, I'm not really a fan of romance stories.

I can hear the wtf?'s you're thinking (cyber telepathy is awesome that way). "How can you not like romance stories if you like romance?"
Easy question to answer: It's because most romance stories are so formulaic and derivative that I already know how they progress and end by the time I'm done the first paragraph/ten minutes into the movie.

A normal romance (be it in book or movie form) will follow one of these formats:

1) Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl don't get along. Boy and Girl's friends will play matchmakers. Wacky romantic hyjinks ensue. Boy and Girl fall for each other. A huge misunderstanding will split the two apart. Lots of emoing on whether they will or won't get back together. The misunderstanding is resolved, and the two do get back together. They all live happily ever after.

2) Boy meets Girl. One falls instantly in love with the other. One will perform crazy stunts to attract the affections of the other. Wacky romantic hyjinks ensue. Boy and Girl fall for each other. A huge misunderstanding will split the two apart. Lots of emoing on whether they will or won't get back together. The misunderstanding is resolved, and the two do get back together. They all live happily ever after.

3) Boy meets Girl. One is coerced into a bet/deal to turn the other into something they are not. There may be a Best Friend, who is secretly pining after one of them, and will have their misery go unnoticed by their object of affection. Wacky romantic hyjinks ensue. Boy and Girl fall for each other. The bet/deal comes to light and one will break it off with the other. Lots of emoing on whether they will or won't get back together. After dwelling on their feelings, one will forgive the other, or the Best Friend will come forward with their feelings. The misunderstanding is resolved and the Boy and Girl do get back together, or one and the Best Friend hook up, leaving the other with the lesson that you can't toy with people's feelings. One of the optional couples lives happily ever after.

4) Boy meets Girl. They fall for each other, but are honour/duty/obligation bound to not have a relationship. Lots of UST as they are forced to work together. UST gets resolved, leaving a Third Party emotionally wounded. Boy and Girl will either call off the relationship so they won't hurt the Third Party any more, or they will continue the relationship despite the opposition. A conflict arises, and one of the three is killed, most often the Third Party so the Boy and Girl can live happily ever after. If the Boy or Girl dies, then the surviving one's bonds with the Third Party are left too damaged to repair, and no one lives happily ever after. If there was no Third Party, then the survivor will either pine ever after, or die so they can be with their love.

If a romance story is well written/acted, then I can forgive the derivativeness and simply enjoy it. But 9 times out of 10 I'll come across a romance so hopelessly mediocre that I'll want to vomit rather than read/watch it. And it is because of this over saturation of unoriginal romance that I prefer stories of friendship so much more.

With romance stories, you read/watch them to see what kind of situations the leads get into, whereas in a friendship story you're reading/watching it for the interaction between the two leads. Because no two people are exactly alike, there are infinite possibilities for how one personality will deal with/play off another, and what kinds of situations they can get themselves into and out of. I like stories/movies where two characters of the opposite sex are comfortable enough with each other that they don't have to resort to unrealistic scenarios to express their affections for one another.

I may be a freak, but I would much rather read/watch something where more thought has been put into the personalities of people, than something derivative where its only draw is the gimmicky shenanigans the one dimensional characters get up to.

Besides, those antics may work in the movies, but if you continually serenade someone with romance songs in the wee hours of the night, you'll get a restraining order faster than you can say "romantic comedy".

Emolicious!

Recently Chloe and I made videos, and the inspiration behind our videos can be summed up with this conversation:

Chloe: So what do you want to do next week?
Me: Wanna go to the dam? Haven't been there in a while.
Chloe: Yeah, that sounds good. Ooh! And let's bring our cameras!
Me: Yes, so we can film us being freaks XD
Chloe: And set it to music! I want to use this song!
Me: I'm going to use this song! Hah, but both of our songs are kinda sad XD
Chloe: HEY! LET'S FILM US BEING EMO!!!
*much laughter ensued*

So that's what we went out and did :P

For mine, we went to this real secluded part of the dam, so secluded, in fact, that the stairway leading to it from the dam had been removed, and we had to find another way to get to it. All the other times we've been there, we've run into one, maybe two other people, and that was with the way to our spot much more accessible. But this time, when you all but have to rappel down a hillside to get to this freaking place, no less than ten people showed up. Ten!! Makes me remember why I hate Murphy's Law...

But then to add insult to injury, when we filmed Chloe's video, we filmed it at this sort of intersection in the trail around the dam, a real high traffic area, and only five or so people came by >_<

But then I had to do some extra filming when I got home, because I needed a shot of some fire in the darkness. But then I nearly killed myself, because the only room in the house that I could get dark enough in the afternoon was the bathroom, and lighting fires in a small, enclosed room is a sure way to die of asphyxiation. And then I only needed 10 seconds of footage that nearly cost me my life x_x

My video


Chloe's video

Intelligence=/=cooking skills and church signs

Apparently, within three of my favourite fandoms (Sailor Moon, Legend of Zelda, Harry Potter), it has somehow become a fanon fact that the smart people in the group (Ami [Mercury], Zelda, Hermione), despite their intelligence, are unable to cook.

This strikes me a really weird, as most cooking is just following a recipe, and that's not exactly the most difficult thing that either of those girls have done...


On another note, there is this church in my town, and it, like all the other churches in town, has a large bulletin boar outside of it. The thing about this particular church, however, it that it has the weirdest sayings put up on it.

Highlights include:

• Reckless Reliance in God - I don't think it's a good idea to have reckless reliance in anything...
• Flavour of the Day - Your guess is as good as mine O_o
• The birth of Star - again O_o
• Heart of Glass - Apparently this church is big on Blondie
• King of the Cosmos

That last one there is their newest one, just came up this week. My dad and I saw it as we were driving by on our way to work. Upon spotting it, my dad says, "Well, I guess God likes Katamari" and I laughed :P

On anniversaries and possible apocalypses

Before I actually get into talking about stuff, I just want to say this:


Dear global warming, and those who are causing it,

FUCK YOU.

Everlasting loathing,
gr33n_sl33ves


There now! That feels better.

Anyway, to the point I was going to make, this being the 6th anniversary of the whole 9/11 thing, I figured I'd make obligatory 9/11 post.

First off I'd like to say, HOLY SHIT, HAS IT REALLY BEEN SIX YEARS SINCE THAT HAPPENED?!?! Time certainly does fly...

(And, yeah, okay, this was technically posted on the 12th, but I started writing it on the 11th! I just got a little sidetracked because I was posting a stupid video up on YouTube…)

While I remember what happened, I don't remember it like it happened yesterday, because truth be told, I was half asleep for the beginning of it. It was the beginning of the school year, I'd just started grade 10, and my most pressing concerns were doing homework and beating a friend of mine in the Kill Everyone Project (and by the way, I did).

As was the norm for most Tuesday mornings, I was trying to sleep in as late as I could. My dad came into my room to wake me up, and sounding as though he couldn’t believe what he was saying, he told me that someone had attacked the towers. And I, in my sleep-addled state, thought he was making some kind of Lord of the Rings reference, or maybe perhaps this was some kind of April Fool's thing. It was that kind of disconnected feeling.

"No," he said, "Someone crashed a plane into the World Trade Center,"

I followed him into my parent’s bedroom, where my mother was watching the news, just in time to see the second plane crash.

Surreal is the only way I can describe that morning. There I was, getting ready for school, just like always, and people were leaping from the towers in some kind of perverse attempt to save themselves. The juxtaposition of the normalcy of my everyday routine and the carnage happening on the other side of the continent was jarring, to say the least, and all I can remember about the rest of the day is just a blur of sensation.

Everyone at school was subdued, the teachers distracted, and even the most boisterous students didn't dare to cause a ruckus. The TVs scattered around the school, which usually displayed announcements of upcoming events, or projects completed by the digital arts class, were instead showing news coverage from ground zero. And as odd as it may sound, the thing that bothered me the most about that day was walking home and not seeing a single plane in the sky.

But the thing I remember the most about that day was not the carnage or the sounding of metaphorical war horns, but the feeling as though the whole world was looking at this one event in horror, as if the entire world had paused to utter, collectively, "How did we get to be this way?"

For a brief moment, it felt as thought the world was united. Purpose, reason, race, religion, age, sexual orientation, none of it mattered, because for one instant, we were one people, watching in horror as we killed each other.

But, as with anything of meaning, the moment was over too soon. People got back to their lives, some unaffected, others piecing together what they could. War was declared on the Middle East, and Bush, who had not days ago been touted as a sham president who only got in because he rigged an election, suddenly had the entirety of the United States backing him up. Terror became a keyword, the masses suddenly filled with hate and loathing for those who looked even the least bit Arabic.

When I was younger, I used to be jealous of my parents because they lived through such historic events like the first supersonic flight, the moon landing, the invention of the Internet and the dawn of the computer age. I used wonder what things of historic relevance would happen in my day and age. All my wonderings were full of explorations of the depths of the sea, journeys to other worlds, cures for diseases and the child-like wish for world peace.

Instead we have war, famine, pestilence, death, global warming, fear, ignorance, hate, indifference and porn. If ever the bible is rewritten, the Four Horsemen are going to be joined by their six cousins.

I used to wonder what my generation would be remembered for, and now I have my answer: We're the generation that's going to have to clean up the mess. And while there are a lot of good, decent people out there, on the whole, we're pretty fucked.

To whoever becomes the president of the US next, I am truly, sincerely sorry. You're going to have a hell of a wreck ahead of you, and I really hope you’re up to the task of cleaning house.

And an aside to that, I am so glad I'm Canadian.


To end on a lighter note (because talking about sorry state of the world is a wee bit depressing), I leave you with my virtual body count, because digital death is a million times better than the real thing.

Unintentional Fangirling

So I'm mucking about on the internet, procrastinating when I should be writing, and watching
clips of Doctor Who in Japanese (because I'm a lewzur and it's really funny XD ).

Anyway, I come to this thing called Miss Fortune's Cookeis, and what did I get?

My Fortune Cookie told me: BAD WOLF. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Lollercaust, but even the freaking internet knows how much of a fangirl I am XD

The End

Finished reading Deathly Hallows yesterday (my reactions ranging from D: to :D to O_O to T^T to X3), and I wanted to see how I faired in my predictions: Wrong, mostly right, totally wrong (and my reaction was D:), totally right, 100% right (and much squeeing occurred), right again, so very right, wrong (but that didn't stop Neville from being made of awesome), right, I didn't even think that was going to happen (I just had too much Star Wars and too little sleep), and yes for both of those last two (and again, my reaction was D:). So, in total, I was 73% correct in my predictions, so that gets me a C- in Divination. Ah well, it's a pass :P

Harry Potter and the Bloody Long Wait

So, seven days until Deathly Hallows and I'm already freaking out.

Well, I say "already" like this is a new development, but the truth is that my fangirlish impulses have been on a steady simmer ever since the onset of about May, when I first placed my preorder of the book, and I've been getting steadily more excited as the 21st of July grew ever closer.

Words can't really describe how buzzed I am about the final instalment in the Harry Potter series. Why, just this morning, Trevor flailed at me madly while whining, "Fuck off!" before slamming his door in my face. Rude little bastard, he is.

Anyway, my excitement did decrease a little this last week, because OMG IT WAS TOO FUCKING HOT TO FUNCTION, LIKE WOAH.

Honestly, I can't handle heat all that well. Genetically, I come from mostly northern European stock, with some Mongolian thrown in from when they were tearing across the continent, raping, pillaging and plundering, as well as liberal amounts of Canadian and British Isles. And what do those regions all have in common? COOL CLIMATES.

I am built, both genetically and physically, for colder climates. I have a stocky build, much more muscle than fat, and I am most definitely not waif-like. I'm fair skinned and dark haired, ideal for cooler climates and not much sun, so when the humidex hits 36C, I become unable to function on most levels. I am especially lacking in sleep. In short, FUCK YOU GLOBAL WARMING, AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

But now that we're finally, finally getting some cooler weather (and we may even get a deluge of sweet, delicious rain soon), I am able to resume my obsession of all things Potter, which leads me to the reason for this post: Book 7 predictions!

(These are mostly for myself than for anyone else, so you're free to skip these if you so desire)

Firstly, Deathly Hallows, what does that mean? With "deathly" generally meaning anything related to death, whereas "hallows" is some sort of holy, sacred place, I think that the Deathly Hallows are some sort of graveyard or war memorial, possibly where Lily and James are buried, or where a Horcrux is hidden, or where the final battle between Harry and Voldemort will take place (or possibly all three).

Secondly, Snape. Many people seem bound and determined to vilify him, but I think he's going to come out a tragic hero in the end. Snape is going to die, I have no doubt about that, but I think he's going to die in an act of redemption, possibly taking a fatal blow that was meant for either Harry or Lupin, and somehow or other it will be revealed that he had always been working for Dumbledor.

Thirdly, if any of the Weasleys are going to die, it's going to be either Charlie or Percy, in that order. Charlie, because he's had the least page time of any of the Weasleys, and Percy because he's been such an asshole in the last couple of books. If Charlie dies, it's going to be in the middle of a battle, possibly going up against an army of giants, and he'll be on dragonback. Percy, on the other hand, will be killed by Death Eaters if and when they storm the Ministry, and it'll either be quick and underhanded, or it'll be while he's holding the DEs back to give other Ministry workers a time to escape, maybe even forcing his father into a Floo just seconds before the fatal curse is cast.

See, I sekritly luve angsty drama. *sheds some emo tears and mimics slitting wrists*

Fourthly, people who I figure DEFINITELY 100% WILL NOT DIE: Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. JK Rowling seems like too much of a decent human being to kill off her main characters and love interests. NOT LIKE SOME AUTHORS WHO TAKE GREAT JOYS IN EMOTIONALLY TORMENTING THEIR READERS!!! *more emo tears and wrist slitting*

Fifthly, if there is an on-page kiss (dare I say snog?) between Ron and Hermione, Hermione's going to be the one to initiate it, and it'll probably be right before or after the final battle. If they kiss anywhere else, I will squee with friggen' joy. FRIGGIN' JOY.

Sixthly, I think Draco is going to redeem himself somehow, and that he isn't going to die. Ever since Book 6, where Draco was shown to be an actual human being, I've had a bit of a soft spot for him.

Seventhly, McGonagall and Luna are gonna R0X0RZ, because that's how they roll.

Eightly, there's going to be some sort of showdown between Neville and Bellatrix again, and Neville is going to come out on top, because the poor guy's had enough go wrong in his life, AND IT'S REVENGE TIME!!

Ninthly, Fleur's going to show us that she's more than just a pretty face.

And Tenthly, Voldemort is Harry's father! ("That's not true," Harry will growl, "That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!" Voldemort will counter, his sibilant features twisting into a triumphant grin as he extends a had towards Harry.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Harry will scream, the cry of anguish echoing around the depths of Cloud City)

Okay, there is no tenth point, I was just feeling silly AND I JUST WATCHED THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, OKAY?

So those are my predictions for the Deathly Hallows, and how many I get right will determine the level of victory dancing I shall do.

Oh, and a word of advice, whatever secondary character that gets lots of screen time, more than they normally would, that character is probably going to die. And there's something odd about the DADA teacher. *cackles madly*

Thnigs that happen at 3am

So, I went camping this week.

Well, I suppose you couldn't really call it camping. Chloe, Sable and I pitched a tent in Chloe's back yard and slept out there. Of course, I say "slept" like we actually got some rest, but that's a lie.

For starters, we didn't even think about going to the tent till some time after 3am, as we had been too busy watching X-Files and eating high-sugar foods to worry about sleep. So Chloe and I head out into the back yard, only to find that it had started raining, and we needed a tarp to put over the tent (because when it rains here, it can sometimes seem like a bloody monsoon, and we did not want to die by drowning in a tent).

So the two of us (because Sable had fallen asleep on the couch, the lazy sod) quietly ransacked the house (because her family was trying to sleep) as we looked for the damn tarp, only for Chloe to realize a half hour later that it was in their camper outside.

Then came problem number two, because Chloe didn't know which key on the key rack was for the camper, so we had to bring the whole kitten kaboodle out into the rain as we tried each key on the camper. Once we finally managed to open the thing and retrieve the tarp, we got Sable up to help us with the tarp. And only once we were all outside again did we realize that we had forgotten to get something with which to tie the tarp down!

So into the house once more, till we finally found some rope, and then back out into the rain, only to discover it had now turned into a fine drizzle, and that the clouds were clearing up, so it seemed that we wouldn't need the tarp anyway.

Back into the house again to get all out sleeping bags, then back to the tent to set up. And then we realized that none of us had bothered to bring a foam mat or air matress, but by that time it was very nearly 5am, so we decided to forgo any further searching and just try to get some rest.

Several minutes and a pantie fight later (though the pantie was just a cloth we'd brought to wipe off some condensation on the inside of the tent, why we called it a pantie, I don't know), Chloe and Sable were sleeping blissfully away, and I began to drift off. But instead of sleep, I entered a six-hour cycle of drifting in and out of consciousness.

I know I dreampt, though, because I remember having a dream where B'lanna Torres of Star Trek: Voyager was apparently the Spirit of the Earth (which was a glowing green, slightly amorphos, giant deer thing that flies through space).

In conclusion: We suck at camping. That and we probably need psychiactric help

In other words, however, I've started seriousley working on my Sailor Moon/Eternal Darkness crossover, and I hope to have the first chapter of that up some time this week.

Speaking of which, I made a Eternal Darkness fanvid, yo!


Hehe, but on Wednesday, the girls and I are taking Tara and Trevor out to see the Transformers movie, and we are presumptuously refering to it as "Marvin and Herbert's First Date!!!11!1!!!!one!!!1"

Of course, the ironic thing is that before we leave for the movie, we're filming a "tard wedding," in which the two of them are getting hitched XD

I am actually looking forward to seeing this movie. When I first heard about it, I was sceptical (though Trevor dissolved into a paroxysm of fanboyish delight when he found out), but all the trailers, coupled with Trevor's glee, have gotten to me. Besides, I was always fond of the Transformers when I was a kid. I'd watch that instead of all My Little Pony or Care Bears, because transforming robots > talking pink horses and bears that shoot magic from their bellies.

Unrelatedly, Leela from Doctor Who is, quite frankly, pure awesomeness incarnate ("Before you kill me I'll have this rat hole ankle deep with blood!" she quoth one episode), and the fact that the movie Ratatouille has to have the subtitle (rat-a-too-ee) really, really pisses me off. It isn't that hard to pronounce! *kicks an ignorant person*

Ballad of the Wind Fish

The title has nothing to do with this post, except for the fact that it will not get out of my mind.
But, unlike the song, I am, in fact, out of my mind. I've been going for about 72 hours straight with no sleep, and it's doing strange things to my brain.

For starters, it feels as though my brain has shrunk and peeled away from the inside of my skull, and all that extra space has been filled with cerebral fluid, and that's acting like a curtain between my eyes and brain. I know I'm hearing things fine, but it's like there's a slight delay between what I hear and what I see. It's kind of fascinating actually. I figure this is what it must feel like for people who are drunk and/or stoned.

But, as I have no desire to test that hypotheses by becoming either drunk or stoned, I suppose I'll just have to go on without proof of this being true.

ANYWAY, an odd thing happened today. I came up with a story idea, a space story none the less, from watching the Disney Beauty and the Beast. I'm not too sure how that works, because the story doesn't have anyone in it who can only be de-cursed by the power of love, nor does it have anything to do with anything even remotely French, but, well, who am I to question the plot bunnies?

Actually, this potential story seems to be drawing inspiration from a fair few different places. The main character is, appearance wise, a cross between Kiba from Naruto and Axel from Kingdom Hearts, only with 100% more estrogen. I haven't actually ever played a KH game, but I think Axel's hair is pretty. Personality and colouring wise, however, she resembles my cat :P

One of the other lead characters, his species is a sort of vague cross between the Zora from the Zelda games, and the Time Lords from Doctor Who. And the main antagonist is a Gorn, a la Star Trek.

While he's not called a Gorn (well, he is in my head, but I'm trying very hard to curb that impulse), and I never intended to call him a Gorn, appearance wise he pretty much is a Gorn: a big green lizard man.

I don't know why, but ever since I first started writing, I've always had lizard men as bad guys. I think it stems from my childhood obsession with dinosaurs, but as I am not a psychologist, one can never tell with these things.

Off topic, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing the Transformers movie.

Slightly less off topic, I don't care what anyone says, I enjoyed Pirates 3. It has, in my opinion, the single most romantic wedding in the history of film. And Davey Jones was oddly adorable, especially when he was playing his organ with his tentacles. And boy, did that sentence ever sound wrong!

*starts singing the Mario theme in Japanese*

Hm, I just blinded myself with science...

I don't know why, but I've had the Peloponnesians in my head all day. It's kind of aggravating, because they just hang around in there, having their damn war. Bastards.

Well, I should attempt to sleep now, because I'm not making any sense. That and I get the weirdest feeling like I'm a drunk phoning his ex-girlfriend in the middle of the night, and that's obviously a bad sign because I am neither drunk, male, or anybodies ex O_o

So, um, yeah... goodnight!

*inarticulate scream*

I hate being sick. Hate, hate, hate being sick. It currently holds the #3 spot on the list of things that I hate (with racism and stupidity at #1 and #2 respectively). I only get really sick maybe once a year, with maybe a smattering of sinus congestion throughout the year (and that's mostly due to mild hay fever, and clears up in a day or two).

But now I am sick, with a fever and possible chances that I may get strep throat, and that makes me want to tear off someones entire head with my teeth.

And my eyeballs hurt. How in the fuck are my eyeballs hurting?! How does a fever and soar throat make my eyes feel like they've been lifting weights four hours at a time!?!

And I don't know why, but in my under-the-weather state, I want to write a dictionary. And kill people with it.

Maybe I should just have a lie down instead x_x

Not Mine

There is only one reason I wrote Not Mine: Doomsday made me cry.

Well, it wasn't so much "cry" as "get all misty eyed," but being that I don't cry that easily, just getting me misty is an accomplishment.

But damn it! Rose was trapped in an alternate dimension, with no chance of returning, and the Doctor was left all alone (well, until that bride showed up, and he had no idea how she even got there).

And so, in my emo fangirl state, I, like other fangirls, wracked my brain for ways in which the Doctor could get into Pete's World. But then it hit me: Pete's World is an alternate universe. There were alternate versions of everyone there (the most amusing of which was, of course, Rose the yorkie), so why not an AU Doctor?

The idea intrigued me so much that I had to write it, yet once I got past a certain point (where the fic itself ends), the story would disintegrate into angst, and the angst would invariably disintegrate into smut.

Now, while I have nothing against smut, I just prefer plot to smut, and I really want this story to have a point without being angsty sex. Well, that and I can't write any kind of sex scene with a straight face. And if I'm supposed to be penning an angst-ridden tale (which I don't want to anyway, because too much angst is just tacky), laughing like a maniac while I'm trying to write angsty sex would kind of spoil the mood.

I want to do this thing right, so I'm taking my time, finding ways to make this story work, but in the mean time, I'm just going to put this idea on the back burner, until I can come up with a way to make it work.

Someone's being a bitch...

Not me, mind you. The one in question is FanFiction.Net. For some reason, every time I try to upload a document, it comes up with this little message:

An error has occurred while processing your request.
If the problem persists, please alert site admin via http://support.fanfiction.net.
All errors are logged for administrative and security purposes.

Only problem is, the link leads to nowhere!!

But isn't that so bloody typical? It's like a statement of our times. The state of the world can pretty much be summed up with that: An error has occurred, but when you try to alert the admins, nothing happens! This error message is the most profound thing that has ever happened to me!

That or I'm being sarcastic/need sleep desperately. My money's on option B.

Speaking of money, the government mailed me a cheque for $58 today. I know it's because I did my income taxes and all, but the fact that the government sent me money has got me all paranoid. Like if I spend it, they'll have the cops on my ass quicker than a fat kid on fudge *shudders*

And speaking of fudge (or chocolate in general) Easter ended up not being so bad this year. The only family we had over were my bitchy aunt (who wasn't much of a bitch, for once) and my grandmother who would forget to breath if it wasn't a base function carried out by the lower brain. As per most family gatherings, I hid upstairs with my brother till it was time to eat (watching Naruto Shippuden X3), only going down when it was time to eat and say goodbye.

I'm not a religious person (but that's a topic for another rant), so I don't really follow/celebrate/remember holidays unless someone points them out to me, or I actually pay attention to the media bombardment that seems to happen for almost every holiday. The only holiday I actually remember on my own is Halloween (because I get to dress up in costume and get candy from strangers).

I used to look forward to christmas, because christmas=presents, but the fact that everyone in my family (outside of my parents, brother, a cousin, an aunt and uncle and my cat) is either a racist, insane (clinically insane, not fun insane), an uberbitch, has an ego the size of the Horsehead Nebula, or is just too dumb to put two and two together really takes away from the merriment. But in addition to all that, they all seem to have this massive Emo streak too!

At most family gatherings, half the adults are talking about all their health problems/how they wished they had died when they were in the hospital, while the other half are either screaming at each other over some discretion that happened seven bloody years ago (so get over it, for fuck's sakes!) or going on and on about how great they are, and how everything they do is just perfect.

Oh, and the Eastern Canada relatives are always belittling us Westcoasters, like we're a bunch of po-dunk hillbillies living in the woods with no concept of society, and no ability to drive in crappy weather (which is just dumb, because the only people who have gotten into accidents in my family were the East Canadian aunt and uncle, and that was because they, on more than one occasion, exercised poor driving habits in bad weather). Sure, even I sometimes say that we live in a po-dunk part of Canada, but we aren't hillbillies! We've got some class, yo (and we don't inbreed or shag sheep either).

Huh, that rant deviated from what I had in mind. Ah well, I suppose I needed to vent, and what better place than the anonymity of the internet!

EDIT: I just found out that my cousin, who is six months younger than me, is going to be a father in August. And for the record, this is very fucked up.

I wanna take you to a gay bar!

Want to know something kinda funny? There are a lot of hot guys in gay bars. A lot. Seriousley. I used to think it was some sort of HBO/Bravo conspiricy to depict gay bars as being chock full of hot guys, but no, it's completely true! And not only are they hot, but they're nice too! I swear, you meet the most gentlemanly of guys in gay bars.

The only downside to this is that despite their hottness, and their actual use of manners, they are only interested in other guys >_<

But such is life, isn't it? All the decent guys are either married, fictional, or with other guys. This would probably be a problem were I actually looking to get myself a boyfriend, but I don't really have a need for a significant other at this point in my life.

But I can ogle, damn it!

On a side note, 300 made me very happy in a place.

Anyway, why all this gay bar talk? Well, me and the girls (Sable, Chloe, Tara, Ruth, Deborah) went to one, and had a most enjoyable time too XD

I lost my karaoke virginity, I did. Sang "Like A Virgin" with Chloe and Deborah, which we (well, I at least) sang badly, because that song is ten times as fun when sung off key. Then, the lot of us got to sing the Time Warp as the last song of the night, though we had wanted to do Shoes XD

But it was not all fun and games, for there were two freaky old men who had snuck into the club somehow. The first was this bum who kept hanging around behind our table, copping a feel from pretty much all of us, then wanting Sable to send him pictures of us.

But worse then him was this freaky ass old guy who came right up behind Ruth, stuck hiss face next to hers and bloody well propositioned her! I mean, holy shit! He was old enough to be her grandfather, and then he wanted to have sex with her? Ugh, that's just... wrong. On so many levels x_x

The rest of us ended up huddling around Ruth to shield her from the creepy old man's advances (he sort of left the bar at one point, with only his head an arm inside, motioning with a finger for Ruth to follow. Ew). But if push came to shove, I'm pretty sure that between Chloe and I, we could have taken the whole damn bar on if somebody tried to start something with us. Haha, because we had knives, and I had a paddle and a glow-in-the-dark fish whacker in my backpack XD

On another side note, Chloe gets really scary when viewing a rape scene in a movie. While watching a Boadicea movie, and when her daughter's got raped, I thought Chloe was going to leap from her seat and tear the laptop we were watching the movie on in half, with her bare teeth o_o

Another barely related topic, but when Trev is old enough to drink (in 9 month's time), I want to take him and Tara to the gay bar, get them drunk, then tape the ensuing hilarity XD

*wanders off to attempt sleep*

An Open Letter

Dear The Internet

I do not want a larger penis. I do not want to hook up with hot babes in my area. I do not want cheap meds, nor larger breasts or care about deceased relatives in South Africa who have left me all their millions of dollars. And I am not a stud.

I am a female, female, and that equals no penis. And without said article of male genitalia, how can I possibly meet up with "hot chicks" and, as you so eloquently put it, "stick it in them"?

My breasts are not something I want bigger. They're big enough already, thank you very much, and a right bloody pain in the ass. What males find so fascinating about them, I'll never know.

Also, seeing as I am devoid of penis, I do not need Viagra. My only erectile dysfunction would be my lack of anything to erect. And I don't need uppers and downers to balance my psyche. Life is a downer enough, and the only uppers I need are a Master Sword and a Gerudo king to stab (or a missile launcher and Space Pirates, or a shotgun and parasite infested Spaniards, or a gladius and a roomful of Chattur'gha zombies to slaughter. Or just chocolate, whatever I can find first).

And yes, while I do actually have relatives in South Africa, I am in fairly regular contact with them, via a grandmother whose sister lives there, and I know for a fact that they aren't rich, and there is no way in hell they would ever leave me any money. And even if they did, I wouldn't want their right-wing, Nazi white supremest gold anyway.

So, if you would be so kind, could you stop sending such dreck into my inbox? I have no need for it, and it only makes you look like a spam dump for everything that is wrong with humanity.


Yours fondly,
gr33n_sl33ves


PS: What the hell is with those e-mails composed of what appears to be paragraphs out of random books, and then images about drugs or some other crap?

PPS: LEARN TO SPELL!!

The downside to the upside

Oh yeah baby, I can find the cloud for any silver lining XD

As I said before, I figured out that I was able to record stuff of my Gamecube, which led to my first LoZ fanvid (and I'm going to be pimping it till the cows come home :P ). Now, while this is great, because I can get sharp footage myself, without having to worry about somebody's logo all over it (that and I would press the A button really fast when they were talking, which got rid of the speech boxes that were blocking all the action), there is one drawback.

See, in the software, there is a little preview screen, so you can see what you're recording. Size wise, I'd say it's somewhere around three inches square. Now, while this is fine for recording cutscenes, it completely throws of my depth perception during the actual fighting >.o

For example, when I was recording some stuff off of Wind Waker, during the final battle with Ganondorf, I lost all but two hearts! I never did that badly the first time I fought him! Fearing that I had suddenly started sucking, I hooked the Cube up to the TV to re-fight the battle, only to beat Ganondorf and only loosing two hearts in the process!

All I can assume is that playing on a smaller screen sucks. It gave me a taste for what PSP owners must go through all the time (badum ching!)

Can you say, "fangirling?"

Well, I got Twilight Princess last Friday, and I've already beaten it XD

And if I have anything to say about this game, it is this: O.M.F.G. This game owns my soul.

It was perfect, just absolutely perfect, and it was definitely worth the loss of sanity wait! Now if you'll forgive me, I have to go on and on about this game because I'm a pathetic fangirl and I need to vent! But I'll be nice and hide the text if you don't want to have it spoiled. If you do want see my rambling, just highlight the stuff below, otherwise just pop down to the text that is visible :P

First off, a minor list of complaints I had in the game.

Number one: the fucking City in the Sky! I hated that dungeon! Fucking Oocca! Would it kill you to put in floors that were actually complete and didn't plummet to the ground whenever you step on them?! By the time I was halfway through the damn thing, I wanted to punt each and every Oocca into one of the many gaps in their floors!! Point in fact, I threw a bunch down the holes because it amused me to do so.

But the game pretty much made up for that when they gave me the Double Clawshot and that bad ass boss battle against Argorok. I had so much fun with that battle.

Complaint number two: (and this can pretty much go for any game) I really wish TP had a bonus feature where you could, after you beat the game, get to replay any of the boss battles whenever you want, without having to slog through the entire game just so you can fight the second to last battle, because the battles in TP were downright fun.

Complaint the third: Link should have been shown with his shirt off more often.

Okay, no more complaining! It's time for the incoherent praising of a very satisfied fangirl!

Music! Oh, the sweet, auditory ambrosia that is the music of the Zelda games! I think I added an extra three hours to my finishing time because I kept pausing the games in places just to listen to the music. I loved how the Howl Stones had you howling out classic Zelda tunes, like the Song of Healing and Zelda's Lullaby. And the boss music! Brilliant! That chanty stuff going on when Ganondorf was charging around as a giant lion pig sounded so friggen cool (and reminded me of the chanting from Lexx, which got me giggling). And when he possesses Zelda, if you listen to the music when you fight her, it's Zelda's Lullaby, only perverted ("Not by naughtiness," my brother said wan I informed him of this, "But by evil!" and then he did jazz hands).

The sound work was absolutely top notch, from Wolf Link's doggy pants, the tinkle of his chain and the clack of Epona's hooves, to the otherworldly hoots and chimes of the Twilight creatures. Even the sounds of rain (which were kind of making me paranoid because I wasn't sure if it was raining in the game or raining outside, because we're going through a bit of a wet spot where I live).

On a sort of related but not really related note, the sound that the portal/wind vortex things that teleport you out of dungeons in Wind Waker make sounds exactly like the first couple of notes from the music that plays during the last six minutes before the Moon impacts in Majora's Mask. Anyway, back to spoiler things!

One of my favourite things about the game was how expressive everyone was. And I mean everyone. The Postman, the guy who sells you bombs, the Yeti (the plural of "yeti" is "yeti," right?), hell, even the animals were emoting! And many of the character were much more than merely cardboard cutouts just shoved into appropriate roles. Zant, while first coming off as the stereotypically cool-headed villain later proves to be a bloody spaz. Midna, who started of as a cheeky and vaguely evil little imp evolved into this caring and yet still bad ass princess who all but sacrificed herself in the final battle to keep her friends safe. Zelda, who, despite being the titular character, doesn't really get her fair share of screen time, still manages to convey a sort of serene melancholy in her scenes (you know, the ones where she isn't possessed or standing on the back of Epona while at a full gallop so she can shoot Ganondorf in the ass). And Link, who doesn't say a word throughout the entire game, is completely understandable simply because of very human (or lupine, depending on the situation) expressions. It just made the characters so much more real.

And if I start going on about the graphics, then were going to be here for quite a while. To sum up, the visuals in Twilight Princess are like orgasms for the eyes. Really fantastic orgasms.

Another side note, this strange conversation popped into my head while I was watching the credits roll after I first beat the game:

Link: Hey Zelda, you remember when you were all possessed by Ganondorf?
Zelda: No, I was unconscious at the time. Why?
Link: Well, when he was using you to attack me, you'd do this thing where you'd fly around and try to impale me on your sword.
Zelda: I was flying around and trying to impale you?
Link: Yeah, it was kind of creepy looking. I could see up you dress too.
Zelda: Really now? And what did you see?
Link: Evil.

Because when she's flying around, most of the inside of her dress is black XD

Well, I think that's it for spoilers. Oh, one last thing! Hehehe, I made a music video using only the footage from the final fight, to the song Rain from Cowboy Bebop (watch as I fangirl across multiple fandoms!), so it's pretty much one big spoiler, but I wants ta pimp mah vid, yo!

... I'm sorry for that grammar. The insomnia has me and I am blithering again. Also, my cat is snoring very loudly. It's rather distracting.

A trip, life immitating anime, the Oscars and a revelation

Blogger! Work properly, damnit! *bitchslap*

Blah, I got back from my grandmother's yesterday. Luckily we were only staying the night, or I would have freaked out even more than I did >_<

See, my grandma isn't a nice, little old lady. Yes, she is a little old lady, but she is the most depressing, irritating, racist, whiny, and just downright negative person I know! Basically, if you want an idea of what it's like to spend time with my grandma, just imagine a Dementor dressed up in a KKK robe, and give it the ability to complain, and that's my grandma. Oh, and make it hyper critical of everything.

While at grandma's, I did my usual, and hid down in the basement/rumpus room until I was called for. It worked out fairly well.

Now, the one thing I actually like at my grandma's place is her shower. She has a really bitchin' shower. The only problem with the shower is that spiders like to live in the bathroom where it's located, and they have this habit of trying to rape me. Don't give me that look, I'm serious! On three separate occasions I've had a spider dangerously close to my naughty bits, I've had one on my ass, and one on each boob. Never on my arm, or my hands or feet, just sexually related areas! It's like a bloody tentacle porn, except with spiders instead of tentacles... and no actual sex involved... but the experience is traumatic none the less!

Anyway, I wanted a shower like you wouldn't believe (because grandma likes to employ us as slave labour when we visit, so I ended up having to clean out her filthy garage), so I went into the bathroom, my trusty spider killing golf club in hand, and I started poking around the place to see if anything came out of the woodwork (luckily nothing did, because I was having this horrible vision of this story Ruth told us, about this big ass spider that had been outside of her house, and when her sister had poked it with a broom, it had chased them x_x).

So I get in the shower, and I shower away, and then when I finished and turned off the water, I thought I felt some soap still on my left leg. So I grab the shower head, my hand on the knob to turn the water on, when I look down and see this GIANT FUCKING SPIDER CRAWLING UP MY THIGH.

To say I panicked a bit would be putting it mildly. I ended up screaming obscenities for nearly five minutes, and I dented the shower head when I used it to repeatedly beat the spider into a gooey pulp on the shower floor. Of course my antics freaked out my parents, and my grandmother started saying that I was either insane or mentally challenged and that I should be locked away or sent to a shrink or something else that I didn't bother paying attention to because HELLO? THERE WAS A MUTHERFUCKIN' SPIDER ON MY MUTHERFUCKIN' LEG!!

The rest of the visit was fairly uneventful, thankfully, though I did fail to sleep because grandmother has the most uncomfortable beds I've ever slept in, and she had the heat on all night and I don't fair well in the heat.

... I think my dad just said something about needing some more cock in here?! Maybe I need my hearing checked o_O

What was I going to talk about next? Oh! Yes! The Oscars! I'm something of a cineophile, so I like watching movie related things (though I will admit that the Oscars can get more than a wee bit pretentious sometimes). Unfortunately, most of the movies that have come out in the past few years have been... well... kinda shitty. So mostly I watch the Oscars to see if anything looks like non-crap. Also, I was watching this year because Ennio Morricone was getting a lifetime achievement Oscar, which I was very pleased about, because I've always loved his music. It was so very appropriate that he was given the Oscar by Clint Eastwood, who was played in with that iconic piece from A Fistful of Dollars (which was a Morricone song, and one of my favourites). But then Celine Dion sang that song, and then she did that scary thing with her mouth at the end of it, and it made me cry T^T

Speaking of things that made me cry, Mako died! In freaking June! I had absolutely no idea he died! And Basil Poledouris?! I nearly shat myself when they said he had died too. Bloody hell...
And I wanted Peter O'Toole to get an Oscar. He should have bloody well got it for Lawrence of Arabia x_x

My favourite part of the Oscars? CORGIS!! I swear, they are the cutest dogs ever, and I'm not even a dog person (meow)!

Hehehe, but I discovered something supremely bad ass. As I said before, I'm a cinophile, so I like movies, the watching and the making of them. I've got a few on my YouTube, nothing fancy, but very weird. Anyway, most of the footage I shot was either download via FireWire from my camcorder, or off of the SD chip from my little camera. And since most computers don't have a FireWire port, we had to get one. And for some inexplicable reason, I failed to notice that the FireWire port we bought also had standard audio/video plug-ins! You know, those red, white and yellow tipped cables that plug into the TV. Hahaha! Tape, DVD, video games! Anything with an a/v plug-in thing, and I can get footage off of them! Muah ha ha ha!

(I don't know where that evil laughter came from)

Hehe, I already download a bunch of Wind Waker cutscenes, though the first thing I recorded off me GameCube was some SSBM footage (I always play as Zelda/Sheik), and soon I shall make MUSIC VIDEOS!! Ooh, and not just Zelda, but Metroid and Eternal Darkness and Resident Evil 4 and Doctor Who and Babylon 5!! Oh sweet technology! Why was I so oblivious to you?

Ooh, I must go find songs with which to set footage to!

Paddles and Hobos and Chocolate, oh my!

Blah, Blogger was being a tard yesterday, and wouldn't let me sign in >.o
But now that it's working, I rejoice!

Anyway, yesterday Chloe, Sable and I went out to the mall, our main objective: to acquire wooden paddles with which we could smack each other around with (because we are strange and the thought of violence amuses us). So we were merrily wandering through the mall, acting juvenile, when Chloe spots Ruth, a friend of her and her sister, working at this jewellery stand. We stop and talk with her, and we pretend to be retards for a bit (er, don't ask), and talk about some of the weird stuff that Chloe's sister Ivy says when she sleep talks.

Ruth had to get back to work, so the three of us went to Michael’s (it's like Wal-Mart, but for art supplies), where we ran around for a half hour with paddles while wearing masks and giggling like maniacs. Seriously, we were downright psychotic. Why they didn't kick us out, I'll never know.

Anyway, we headed back to the mall in order to get food, when we bumped into Ruth again, who had just gotten off from work, and was stuck at the mall till her mom came to pick her up. Now, on this particular day, the mall was absolutely full of parents and their small children. And I don't mean quiet, well-behaved children, oh no. Instead there were no less than at least thirty of these screaming little bastards.

I don't like kids. Well, I don't like people in general, but kids engender this special kind of hate in me. I'm fine with children, if they're well behaved, but parents these days seem to just let their spawn run wild. No manners, no discipline, just squalling, oozing bags of snot and poop and humanity, and they disgust me. If there's anything wrong in this world, it's that people don't train their children anymore. But I'm digressing, so back to the story...

So, the mall was full of screaming, ill behaved children, and it was very vexing. There we were, trying to eat, and on all sides of us we were surrounded by the little shits. Like me, it turned out that none of my three companions like children either (point in fact, when Chloe and I were sitting on a bench outside of a photo shop, waiting for Sable to pick up her pictures, this couple and their little kid walk past us. As the three go past, the little kid sort of screams "HI!" at us, and then, making a sort of clawing gesture and snarling, Chloe replies, in a sing-song voice, "Die!").

We were talking about all the horrible things we had seen children doing, and then we started coming up with ways of how to get rid of all the little bastards. Chloe wanted to have them put down like rabid animals, while Sable wanted to punt them into the ocean, and whoever got back to land would get to live. I was on similar lines, but I wanted to drop them into a forest so that they could be eaten by all the hungry animals, but Chloe was against that because she didn't want the animals to get diseased by eating the disgusting offspring of humans (as she likes animals better than people). That's when Ruth comes up with the idea of feeding the children to hobos.

And that is the perfect solution! With one swoop we could feed the needy and get rid of all the little shits! We then decided that we could keep all the hobos on an island (Hobo Island, what else), and any ill-behaving children would be sent there. The children themselves would provide all the nourishment that the hobos would need, and they could make their homes and clothing out of the bones and skin of their food. I won't go into it all, because most of it was actually pretty gross, and the rest I forget because we were laughing so damn hard that I think I momentarily passed out at one point due to lack of oxygen. And the best part about it was all the dirty looks the parents of those squalling little bastards were giving us.

"Yeah, that's right!" we were all but saying, "We're directly attacking your parenting skills! No, your child is not a precocious little scamp! It's a wretched, screaming terror that you didn't train properly, and it's going to become a whore/thief/murderer/rapist/politician when it grows up, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!!"

It was equally gratifying when they all got up and left in an undeservedly righteous huff, because they took their little bastards with them. And the silence that followed was even sweeter.

We spent the remainder of out time wandering around and looking at pretty things (like jewellery and swords), laughingly remarking to ourselves, whenever a child would pass, "Look out little Billy, or the hobo will eat you!" and generally behaving as most normal twenty something’s wouldn't. And that rocked.

It was close to the time when Ruth's mom was arriving when Sable asked to go to Wal-Mart. She had a just about used up gift card from christmas, and she wanted some sweet, sweet easter chocolate. And who were we, all of us female, to deny he this indulgence? So off we went with the intent of purchasing some chocolaty goodness.

As I said, it's close to easter, so there was more than enough chocolate to go around. Chloe and I got some big ass bags of easter eggs, while Sable got a box of Pot of Gold. Ruth was going to pick up a couple bags of Hershey Kisses, but she wanted to see how much they were, so she ran one under one of those scanner things that seem to be popping up in stores more and more lately. Anyway, instead of the 68 cents they were advertised at, it turned out the chocolate was actually 10 cents a bag. So Ruth decided to buy all of them. And she did too. Every bag of Kisses that were in that store, she bought, and that ended up being about ten pounds of candy for about five bucks! And, of course, this made the lot of us very giggly (not that we weren't anyway), especially when Ruth started stopping random people to tell them that she had bought ten pounds of chocolate XD

So, yes, that was my eventful Wednesday. Aside from learning that omg George Takei totally wins at everything, today was relatively quiet X3

Bad Wolf and the Lonely God

CBC wasn't an asshole. Unlike what they did with The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, they showed Doomsday the week after they showed Army of Ghosts, instead of waiting a fraking month!

So it is that February 19 is my Emo Rose Day T^T

Comparing Legends

Sometimes, when I’m bored, I like to pick a couple fandoms and try to imagine how they would fit together. Sometimes they work out, and sometimes they don’t, but all in all it’s an amusing distraction.There are times, however, where I find weird similarities between fandoms that aren’t readily apparent, unless you look for them. Such is the case between the Legend of Zelda and Sailor Moon.I know it may sound a little weird, but let me shoot out a little summary for you:

In both series’, the Hero (Link, Tuxedo Mask) initially start off searching for a Mysterious Object (the Triforce, the Ginzuishou) with which to give to the Princess (Zelda, Sailor Moon). The Princess and her Followers (Sages/Maidens, Sailor Senshi) are beset by the Villain (Agahnim/Ganondorf/Majora/Vaati/Zant, Queen Beryl/Prince Dimande/Pharaoh 90/Queen Nehellenia/Sailor Galaxia), who may or may not be the minion of an even greater evil (Ganon, Chaos). The Villain is, more often than not, after either world domination or destruction, and the Hero, Princess and Followers are the only ones who can stop this from happening.While the Hero is more of a physical fighter, the Princess and her Followers are able to use some kind of mystic power (magic, Sailor Crystals). The Princess is often helped by a Guide (Impa, Luna), while the Hero mostly goes it alone. The Hero is brave beyond compare, and willingly throws himself into the fight against the Villain, while the Princess, with her kind heart, fights for the sake of her people.When the final battle comes, the situation seems completely hopeless, and the Villain has all but won. But in a last ditch effort, the Hero, Princess and her Followers unite together and together they are able to stop the Villain and restore peace.

And that’s just a general, overall comparison. There are other, little similarities hidden around all over each.

For instance, both Zelda and Tuxedo Mask took on an Arabic alter ego (Sheik, the Moonlight Knight [who happened to look like a sheik]). Link and Tuxedo Mask are both orphaned at a young age. Wisdom is associated with water and the colour blue (Naryu, Sailor Mercury), Courage is associated with air (and the woods, by proxy) and the colour green (Farore, Sailor Jupiter), while Power is associated by fire and the colour red (Din, Sailor Mars). An incredibly powerful sword (the Master Sword, the Holy Blade) falls into the hands of the good guys, and it usually has to be restored to its full power by some means, and it is used to deliver the killing blow to the Villain. The Guide often fluctuates in age (Impa as an old lady in most games, while much younger in OoT, and Luna dubbed as an old lady in the American dub, while much younger in the original Japanese). Both feature a mystical kingdom (Hyrule, the Silver Millennium), which is, along with the Mysterious Object, what the Villain is after. The Villain also always seems that power will win the day, but the good guys prevail by combining powers and/or abilities. There is also an insufferably cute child who favours one colour over others (Saria and her green, Chibiusa and her pink). Woodwinds, harps and violins are prevalent instruments (Zelda and Link use an ocarina while Ali uses a flute. Sheik, Medli/Laruto and Sailor Mercury play harps of some sort. Markar/Fado and Sailor Neptune use violins). And both Zelda and Sailor Moon have blonde hair, blue eyes, a fair complexion, and more power and determination than what the Villain initially expects.

So, as you can see, these two fandoms have a fair bit in common. And, while I don’t actually see a Zelda/Sailor Moon crossover being written, finding those similarities was kinda fun :P

Maybe I should have stuck with ink...

Okay, I now know how much of a nerd I am, and it's all thanks to Teen Titans!
It started out as a fairly normal day for me, a bit of writing, working with some HTML and JavaScript (because non-nerd people totally do that on a daily basis. Seriousley), and then stop for a bit to have some lunch. I was going to eat it downstairs if there was anything good on TV, but since it was nothing but soap operas and Jerry Springer, I figured I'd be better finding something I liked on YouTube.
So there I sat, typing in random things, eating my tuna melt (and fending of my cat, who was going psycho trying to get at my tuna), when I stumbled across the Teen Titans movie. What the hell, I figure, it's better than daytime TV anyway.
The plot of the movie is that the Titans have to go to Japan to find out why this villian called Brushogun was attacking their home (I'd like to point out that when I first heard the villians name, I thought he was an ad for denstry x_x)
Anyway, this nameless dude who Brushogun sent to attack the Titans Tower was kinda cool looking, in what I originally thought to be half red, half blue. But then as I watched him attack some stuff, I realized it was more cyan than blue, and that red was leaning dangeriousley close to pink.
The movie goes on a bit more, and the Titans are attacked by this shadow thing, and some yellow floaty robot types. And there I was, thinking to myself, "Heh, cyan, yellow, black, and what I assume to be magenta. Maybe this Brushogun guy is like a CMYK printer?"
And I know about CMYK printers, because I'm the one who has to change the toner when the big ass one at work runs out.
So the show goes on some more, then we get to this part where we see Brushogun making his minions, by wiping his fingers across a piece of paper and leaving trails of cyan, magenta, yellow and black!!
And the pathetic part wasn't that I guessed the CMYK thing before we even got to that part, but my first thought on seeing that was, "I wonder what he uses for toner?"
Clear evidence that the ink fumes and paper dust have finally gotten to me >_<
That, and I seriously need a vacation @_@

Name Change and Churches

I started out by calling this blog Ink and Swords, and this is because I adore swords more than most, and ink is all but literally in my blood. Writing, for me, is practically hereditary.
But I changed it to what it is now, because I've always wanted to call something that.
See, on my route to work, there is this little church called Our Lady of Good Counsel. Being that organized religions kinda wig me out, I've never actually gone into the place, but the name always stuck with me. I've had a past fancy of sneaking up to the church in the middle of the night and sticking a sticker that said bad over the good, because I would find it hysterical.
Maybe I'm twisted, but I don't care! Funny is funny, and seeing the reactions of the people that frequent that church would be reward enough.
Of course, I've also wanted to go into a church and act possessed, but the jury is still out in regards to my sanity.
On a side note, my eyeballs feel sticky and I wish to pluck them out and rinse them under cold water. I don't know why, but they always feel sticky when I get no sleep x_x

May the rats eat your eyes, Aurora McAwesome!

I finally got some sleep, so yay! But, it was during sleep that an idea for some stories came to me. Probably due to the fact that I have recently seen pretty much everything to do with Sailor Moon (except for the musicals, and dude, I want to see those so bad because I'm insane for musicals), I ended up having a fair few Sailor Moon dreams. In the first one I had, a couple weeks ago, I was a cop with Haruka (Sailor Uranus), and we were driving around this nameless city. But we weren't just normal cops, oh no, we were cheesy 70's movie cops, right down to the tacky outfits and the disco soundtrack. Yes, my dreams have soundtracks. Anyway, all I can remember from it was that we were cruising around town at excessive speeds, and we all but held up a Tim Hortons at one point. It was kinda nutty, to say the least.
The next Sailor Moon dream I had was just as messed up, but I actually want to turn it into a fic. I was apparently going to the same school as Usagi, Ami, Makoto and Minako (which looked suspiciously like my high school), and was in their class. Anyway, it was the beginning of the day, and the teacher (who was actually my grade 5 teacher, in real life) was introducing a new girl. She had this really big ass name, and I can't remember it all, but I remember the chick saying that we could call her Aurora McAwesome. She was actually Paris Hilton, I believe, and she was looking at Usagi like she was going to jump her or something, and I remember thinking in the dream, "Oh shit! I'm in a Mary Sue fic!"
So, from that crack!idea, I want to write a fic about Aurora McAwesome (that name kills me), the quintessential Mary Sue, showing up and trying to get in with the Senshi like they're old pals, and how the girls would realistically react to such a thing. And I am totally making her Sailor Earth, because what's a SM Mary Sue without her being a Senshi too?
Anyway, my next dream-based fic is sort of a smash up of one of my favourite video games with one of my favourite shows: a crossover with Eternal Darkness and Sailor Moon! I know, it's kinda crack!fic-ish too, but I want to write this one as a serious story. The dream I got this idea from was just a short one... or it could have been a terribly long one, but I only remember part of it. Anyway, in the part I remember, I was Sailor Mercury for some reason, and I was wandering around the ruins of Ehn'gha, when this Chattur'gha Horror comes stomping towards me. So I cast the Enchant Item spell on my sword (which was Dark Mercury's sword from PGSM), and then I started hacking away at the Horror till it was dead. And then I laughed like a psycho, but that's just me.
I've only sort of got a rough idea about where I want to go with that fic, but it should be interesting.
And while we're on the topic of video games, I actually had a few ideas for some Legend of Zelda fanfiction. Well, I actually had these ideas about a month ago, but work has been insane, and so I've hardly had the time to write. But, luckily for me, work has died down to a no-so-insane level, so I am bloody well going to get some writing done, damn it!
And to end with a bit of fangirling: omg, the end of the Kafei/Anju sidequest in Majora's Mask was so friggen' emotional! They're having a secret, hidden marriage just minutes before the moon is going to smash down and snuff out their lives in a fiery fireball of DEATH and they're going to stay together and await the dawn! I swear, if I was a crier like my mom, I would have been bawling during that scene!

Oddness and Insomnia

So... it's 3:25am right now, which means I have been up roughly 27 hours straight. It's kind of a piss off, actually. There I was, lying in bed for most of the night last night, and I just wouldn't fall asleep. I have no idea why. I mean, I was comfortable enough, tired enough, but sleep just never came. I get like that somethings, which is alternately amusing and annoying. And right now we're straying dangerously close to annoying.
Some good came out of it though, because I started playing Majora's Mask for the first time last night, and it rocked. Haha, but I'm an illegal bastard because I downloaded the ROM for it, instead of buying the actually game, but I have not been able to find it anywhere, and if I do find it, well, I'll probably buy it.
On the 8th, however, my friend Sable went to another city for a week so she could house sit for her aunt. I think she said she was coming back some time around the 13th, because she was saying something about going out with Chloe and I to get some art supplies and crap. Anyway, today, out of the blue, she phones me up and asks for my home address, because she apparently wants to send me something. Trouble is, she didn't say what. Chloe's hoping for singing male strippers with chocolate for Valentines, But I've got my hopes up for a sword, because I'm weird like that.
Crap, I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. I just burst out into laughter, and I don't know why. Shit, any minute I'm going to start writing some depressing poetry, I just know it...

Censoring and You!

To be perfectly blunt, I hate censoring. To quote X-Play, I hate it with the intensity of a thousand suns. In my mind, to censor something is to destroy the artistic intent of what the creator of what ever was being censored had in mind.

For example, let's take a movie, say... Die Hard. According to IMDB, Die Hard is rated "R", so basically this movie is a movie for adults, not for children. I saw it on TV a while ago, and most of the swearing and excessive violence was cut out. Now, why was this stuff cut out? "So the impressionable youth won't see it and try to mimic it!" the parents groups will say. And this would be a valid and good reply, were we talking about a movie that was actually target at children!

And so it is that movies about explosions and swearing and violence and turned into fun treats for the whole family. But is that so bad, you ask? If you wanted to watch a movie with lots of swearing and shit getting blown up, then yes, it is bad.

See, cutting things out of movies/TV shows/books is never a good thing. All that stuff is in there for a reason, and all your censoring is, more likely than not, destroying the message the creator was trying to convey.

For example, I turn to something I'm something of an expert in (having just read the manga, watched the anime and movies, as well as the live action series): Sailor Moon. While I'll be using this series as an example, the manner in which it was dubbed can be applied to most other anime, no, any foreign content that is brought to the West to be dubbed.

The most common one is that the names are changed. The youth would have no concept of a world beyond their shores, so no foreign names are allowed! Usagi is now Serena, Makoto is now Lita, and Motoki is now Andrew! (I will admit that dubbers are getting better at leaving names alone, but it's still fairly common).

Next we have to get rid of any of the weird, foreign customs that these people are doing! Flip the image around to it looks like people are driving on the proper side of the road! And no kanji anywhere, because it is foreign and strange! We must cover it up with poorly drawn American things!

Now we take the script and alter it to suit our needs! Cut things out to make room for a stupid little moral thing! Change the characters to be little more than stereotypes! Remove all the original music and sound effects and change them to our brightly coloured bubble-gum tunes! And no more lesbians! They're now cousins (though we'll inexplicable leave in all their subtle flirting)!

I really can't do justice as to how much exactly was cut from each episode of Sailor Moon. You'd be better off going HERE to see just how badly it was butchered. It's just.. bah, I can't even type coherently anymore.

To conclude, censoring destroys the intent of a show/movie/book, and it shits upon the concept of "free speech" that the ones who are doing all the censoring are going on about all the time. So, basically, the world is full of hypocritical bastards and I'm ashamed to be a part of the human race.

Bloggety Blog Blog!

Well, Looks like I gots me a blog now, eh? Though I don't know what kind of accent I was trying to pull off there... Bah, no matter, I'll just plow on ahead!
Plow on ahead to what, well, I don't really know just yet. Hm, ramble ramble ramble...
I think the main purpose of this blog is going to be as a bitchfest. Yes, and angst dump so full of woe that you'll want to slit your wrists the instant you start reading it!
No, probably not. I'm not really an angsty person, and, quite frankly, the whole Emo, "oh-my-life-is-so-miserable-I-want-to-just-DIE-omg thing kinda pisses me off. I mean, yeah, the world sucks, but do you have to go on and on and ON about it? *punts some Emo kids into traffic*
On that note, I think I found out what this blog is going to be about: ranting! That wonderful pastime where go nuts about subjects that annoy you! Ah, such fun, such fond memories. I spent much of my high school years ranting...
Well, I suppose I've blithered on long enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stab Ganondorf in the face again, then perhaps get down to some writing ;)