Harry Potter and the Bloody Long Wait

So, seven days until Deathly Hallows and I'm already freaking out.

Well, I say "already" like this is a new development, but the truth is that my fangirlish impulses have been on a steady simmer ever since the onset of about May, when I first placed my preorder of the book, and I've been getting steadily more excited as the 21st of July grew ever closer.

Words can't really describe how buzzed I am about the final instalment in the Harry Potter series. Why, just this morning, Trevor flailed at me madly while whining, "Fuck off!" before slamming his door in my face. Rude little bastard, he is.

Anyway, my excitement did decrease a little this last week, because OMG IT WAS TOO FUCKING HOT TO FUNCTION, LIKE WOAH.

Honestly, I can't handle heat all that well. Genetically, I come from mostly northern European stock, with some Mongolian thrown in from when they were tearing across the continent, raping, pillaging and plundering, as well as liberal amounts of Canadian and British Isles. And what do those regions all have in common? COOL CLIMATES.

I am built, both genetically and physically, for colder climates. I have a stocky build, much more muscle than fat, and I am most definitely not waif-like. I'm fair skinned and dark haired, ideal for cooler climates and not much sun, so when the humidex hits 36C, I become unable to function on most levels. I am especially lacking in sleep. In short, FUCK YOU GLOBAL WARMING, AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

But now that we're finally, finally getting some cooler weather (and we may even get a deluge of sweet, delicious rain soon), I am able to resume my obsession of all things Potter, which leads me to the reason for this post: Book 7 predictions!

(These are mostly for myself than for anyone else, so you're free to skip these if you so desire)

Firstly, Deathly Hallows, what does that mean? With "deathly" generally meaning anything related to death, whereas "hallows" is some sort of holy, sacred place, I think that the Deathly Hallows are some sort of graveyard or war memorial, possibly where Lily and James are buried, or where a Horcrux is hidden, or where the final battle between Harry and Voldemort will take place (or possibly all three).

Secondly, Snape. Many people seem bound and determined to vilify him, but I think he's going to come out a tragic hero in the end. Snape is going to die, I have no doubt about that, but I think he's going to die in an act of redemption, possibly taking a fatal blow that was meant for either Harry or Lupin, and somehow or other it will be revealed that he had always been working for Dumbledor.

Thirdly, if any of the Weasleys are going to die, it's going to be either Charlie or Percy, in that order. Charlie, because he's had the least page time of any of the Weasleys, and Percy because he's been such an asshole in the last couple of books. If Charlie dies, it's going to be in the middle of a battle, possibly going up against an army of giants, and he'll be on dragonback. Percy, on the other hand, will be killed by Death Eaters if and when they storm the Ministry, and it'll either be quick and underhanded, or it'll be while he's holding the DEs back to give other Ministry workers a time to escape, maybe even forcing his father into a Floo just seconds before the fatal curse is cast.

See, I sekritly luve angsty drama. *sheds some emo tears and mimics slitting wrists*

Fourthly, people who I figure DEFINITELY 100% WILL NOT DIE: Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. JK Rowling seems like too much of a decent human being to kill off her main characters and love interests. NOT LIKE SOME AUTHORS WHO TAKE GREAT JOYS IN EMOTIONALLY TORMENTING THEIR READERS!!! *more emo tears and wrist slitting*

Fifthly, if there is an on-page kiss (dare I say snog?) between Ron and Hermione, Hermione's going to be the one to initiate it, and it'll probably be right before or after the final battle. If they kiss anywhere else, I will squee with friggen' joy. FRIGGIN' JOY.

Sixthly, I think Draco is going to redeem himself somehow, and that he isn't going to die. Ever since Book 6, where Draco was shown to be an actual human being, I've had a bit of a soft spot for him.

Seventhly, McGonagall and Luna are gonna R0X0RZ, because that's how they roll.

Eightly, there's going to be some sort of showdown between Neville and Bellatrix again, and Neville is going to come out on top, because the poor guy's had enough go wrong in his life, AND IT'S REVENGE TIME!!

Ninthly, Fleur's going to show us that she's more than just a pretty face.

And Tenthly, Voldemort is Harry's father! ("That's not true," Harry will growl, "That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!" Voldemort will counter, his sibilant features twisting into a triumphant grin as he extends a had towards Harry.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Harry will scream, the cry of anguish echoing around the depths of Cloud City)

Okay, there is no tenth point, I was just feeling silly AND I JUST WATCHED THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, OKAY?

So those are my predictions for the Deathly Hallows, and how many I get right will determine the level of victory dancing I shall do.

Oh, and a word of advice, whatever secondary character that gets lots of screen time, more than they normally would, that character is probably going to die. And there's something odd about the DADA teacher. *cackles madly*