What do vacumes do?

They suck, much like the beginning of this year.

First of all, I've got money troubles, but who doesn't have them around this time of year? I just find it rather annoying that I've got to come up with $1075 before the 15th of February for something that's not happening till the beginning of May. Also, WTF government? Why must you charge such ridiculously high fees? *slaps you*

Also, my mum's mum has perhaps only days to live, so of course that's a freaking bucket of chuckles. And why do nurses and doctors and crap have to laugh after telling you bad news? It's not funny. *slaps them*

And giant fucking hairy spiders? Why do you insist on running at me in the dead of night when people are trying to sleep? *slaps spiders to death from within an impregnable hazmat suit*

Also, sleep? Why must you evade me so? *slaps self*

And why is it every time someone in the family has to move, my parents and sibling and I are the only ones who bother to help? "Oh, but I work, and I'm tired, and I'm injured, and I'm busy!"
And what? My dad wasn't working? I've gotten more than six hours of sleep in the past week? My mom isn't recovering from lung surgery? My brother isn't spending most of his time handing out resumes and filling out application forms? Stop making excuses and fucking help! *slaps other family members*

And what the hell is up with world affairs? *slaps affairs*

President Bhutto assassinated!?! *slaps assassins*

Heath Ledger OD'd?!? *slaps drugs*

Writers Guild still on strike?!? *slaps the people not paying these people*

Hollywood still cranking out unnecessary remakes and derivative movies!?! *slaps the film industry*

Yanks sending in Marines because Brits and Canucks not "pulling their weight"!?! *slaps America*

Presidential election?!? *slaps America again*

Global warming? Natural disasters? Terrorism? Poverty? War? Famine? Pestilence? Death?



*just a big fucking slap against the entire world*



I just hope that this is all some sort of karmic colonic and that the rest of the year will be better >_<